“O you who believe, save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is men and stones over which are (appointed) angels, stern and severe, who flinch not (from executing) the commands they receive from God, but do (precisely what) they are commanded.” (Quran 66:6)
I'm sure I speak for many reverts when I say we suffer distress at the thought of our families suffering in jahannam for the rest of eternity. “But those who reject Our signs, they are the companions of the left hand. On them will be Fire vaulted over (meaning the gates will be locked).” (Quran 90:19-20). Quite a stressful ayat when we think about how we are bringing Islam to them and many times they do not accept the message of Islam.
Zahra:
My parents and extended family are hardcore Southern Baptists, and to most Americans, you understand how intense that particular denomination is. I was raised in Southern Baptist Convention churches, although my middle childhood lacked church and religious direction due to my father's work taking us to Europe. We came back to the US and did not really become heavily involved with church until after my freshman year of high school, and believe me when I say heavily involved. My parents and I fell out of the church routine towards the end of my high school days, although I was still a member of quite a few Christian youth clubs.
When my parents found out that I had become a Muslim, they initially kicked me out of the house and cut me off. They literally left me with the clothes on my back. No car, no phone, not even a purse to carry my things in. I had to call a friend at 1 o'clock in the morning to pick me up. The next day, I closed my bank accounts, borrowed a car, and three of us drove for the three hours to my college to clean out my apartment of everything we could before my parents could get to it. I took out student loans to pay for a meal plan and got a dorm room assignment. That afternoon, my dad texted my friend telling him to contact me and tell me to check my e-mail. He wrote that both he and my mom were sorry for what they did and wanted me to come home. I went home the next day.
To this day, I still have arguments and scuffles with both of my parents that almost makes life unbearable with them. As bad as this sounds, I sometimes think that things probably would have been a lot better had they just left me to be on my own. My mother tends to go through peaks and troughs, but oftentimes I feel like she's in this awful depression, and that's both heartbreaking and extremely irritating for me to see. I would love for my parents to come to Islam and see the real peace it brings. One day, inshAllah.
Nikita:
I have yet to come out to my family about my faith, and when I say come out, I mean officially. My parents know I pray, and they've come to acknowledge that I refuse to eat pork products. My Hindu grandmother has no idea that I pray. I have yet to come out to them in fear, my parents have already said they feel I am giving up hundreds of years of family tradition. They feel hurt, and betrayed. My mom learned that I was waiting to turn 18, and move out to college to wear hijab. My parents quickly threatened to pull me out of college and make me live at home to attend community college.
The point I'm getting at is that approaching your family about transitioning into a practicing Muslim is hard, and there are words and actions that can bring you down and hurt your iman. It is the Shaitan trying to mislead you, and make you feel like your own family is against, and disowning you. The trick is time, it is ease, it is pace. You cannot expect a couple weeks, or a couple months for things to turn around. You have to slowly bring your parents to the idea of Islam, and the idea of being a Muslim. Try to teach them about the faith as opposed to trying to teach them why you want to wear hijab, or grow out your beard, or choose to eat halal, it takes time, faith and dua. Insha'Allah the families of the reverts will accept not only their reverted family, but Islam itself.
Until next time,
N&Z
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